Change.

Dear dedicated readers,

I was so surprised to log on here to find that I am still getting very steady viewings despite the lack of updates, but I get the point, I’ll get to writing. 

Since my last post, I have ruined my best pair of cowboy boots dancing across the dusty plains of Snook, Texas alongside my two bestfriends for Texas A&M’s annual Chilifest, listened to life being explicitly described by Lil Wayne’s clever lines up close and personal at the American Airlines Center, received many well-worth-it battle scars and accidently broke a girls wrist (continuing my red card legacy of Martin soccer) on our way to becoming the 2nd place powderpuff team in the league, jumped off a two story party barge at our sorority’s mixer on Lake Grapevine, and started my intense work out plan to get this girl into that wedding dress *insert prayer here*.

Exams are here, and in full swing. Such a bittersweet time for me. These infamous weeks of cramming  in papers, projects, and caffeine pills have been peppered with the joy of summer’s nights but also the sadness that comes with the end of an important chaper in your life. Next Friday is looming over my head as a finish line of freedom, sun, and wedding festivities, but I’m also trying to back peddle away to buy some more time with these people that I may never see again after most of them throw their hats in celebration of conquering the tamed beast of higher education. It’s so bizarre that a year ago today, I was plowing through exams with the idea that I had 3 more years here, unmarried, living in Dallas, and finishing my Business degree.  Maybe I should have knocked on wood.  But here I am, unsure as Texas weather, as to what the next few years hold for me. Exciting? Check. Scary? Check.  Ready? Is there a.. maybe box?.. Okay, okay.. FINE.. Check.

I went to my photography teacher yesterday for my scheduled meeting to tell her what my final portfolio’s work was going to be centered on. The purpose of this meeting is merely to stroll in, tell what your creative mission is, get a signature of approval and walk out.  The right-brained, indecisive person I am comes stumbling  in with a moleskin full of loose sheets of scribbles, idea bubbles, and sticky notes of random quotes, thoughts, and inspiration  that I just can’t decide between. My teacher, after hearing me ramble for well over my alloted meeting time, and me dropping my head in defeat and stating that I’m making no sense, she just smiled at me said “Your project will be about change. Everything that you’re running on about is how much transformation has been going on in your heart and life lately. Don’t worry so much about trying to snap a picture of an object that represents your idea, try to make your picture frame create the essence of transformation and change in your life.” She continued to give me a few creative starters, honing in everything that I was feeling into this universal element that I could express through film. As I started ripping pages out of my notebook and 2-point shooting them into the nearest trashcan, I started thinking about change, in between thoughts of how impressed I was that someone could label my ADD thoughts with one word, thanked my professor, and walked out. Change, huh? I took  a piece of advice that she gave me, and started writing about what this meant to me, and what I came up with was that life is merely a conveyor belt of events, always moving, always changing, and never the same when it comes back around. These exam weeks have come back around for me, but every time they do, I am at a different place in my life, and will be again the next time that they greet me again. I have a few ideas of what my portfolio will look like, but I know that I will be able to look back and know that this time was something so special and frightening in my heart, but that I made it through in one piece.

Adolescent agnst, at it’s finest.

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