Let’s talk about something awkward.

I just spent an hour on the phone talking to one of the most amazing people I know.

Deeply encouraging. Loyal. Beautiful. Like. Turn your head beautiful. And creative as all get out.

Towards the end of the conversation, she brought up a business venture that she was interested in. I encouraged her, just saying “Offer a time to come meet with them. And then talk yourself up.”

Her response really hit me.

 

“Talking yourself up and knowing your worth as a woman is probably the hardest thing. Like, what do I say about myself that is so great, you know?”

 

I wanted to argue. I mean, COME ON. You’re amazing. Give me the resume and I’ll write it myself- just chalk full of all the reasons you would rock this job.

But if I’m honest, it’s absolutely true. It’s hard to see your own value sometimes [lots and lots of times].

You’re so stuck in your own life, your own imperfect skin, surrounded by your own baggage that you truly forget what you have to offer the world. And your best friend can see it. Your family can see it. Hell, you know your dog sees it. But you can’t.

I remember a friend had me do an exercise once that radically changed how I viewed Kendall.

She had me write a letter to myself as if I were writing it to my best friend. 

kensfolk journal

 

If your best friend came to you with the same concerns of self-worth that you do, what would you tell her? 

See, there are two types of people in this world.

People who write letters. And people who don’t.
And I am so far to the left of those two types of people that I would gladly have everyone throw their iPhones in a big bonfire and dance around it. And then I would go home and write a letter about it.

I pour my feelings out in postage, scribbles, and notes. I keep a physical planner. I was totally up for this challenge.

But then pen got to paper and I was blank. Wow. I would be 3 pages deep if this were my best friend. But about me? I ain’t got nothin’.

Eventually I wrote. Telling me that yes. Yes, I had something big to offer the world. And why yes, I am wasting time by throwing myself a big surprise pity party. Because guess what? It’s time to get to crackin’ with these talents I was given.
DO YOU KNOW AWKWARD IT IS TO TALK GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF?

I mean, even writing about this makes me all damp in the pits.

But writing a letter to myself with the kindness of a best friend really helped me realize that all those self-worth issues were just in my head.

And you. Yes, you. Reading this. I may know you. I might not. But you are so fantastic. And I know we ALL think we’re not at times. And I know I’m not just being all “feely girl” over here.  I struggle. You struggle. We’re all here.

So please, write yourself a letter as your best friend.

It isn’t conceited. It’s acceptance, kindness, and respect for yourself. It also isn’t perfection. I hate to break it to the two of us, but we aren’t flawless.

But write it. As your biggest fan. And I hope it helps you see yourself the way you are, you amazing human, you.

XO, K.

 

 

 

** I stole this image off of Pintrest.

 

 

 

9 thoughts on “Let’s talk about something awkward.

  1. Ahhh, self worth. It’s such a deep, deep well. I have always found my self worth in the acceptance and approval of others (wrong place!). This totally sucks once those people flat out reject me….all that self worth goes straight out the window, and then I’m stuck in the well…paralyzed. I could literally talk for hours about this issue and how it’s tied to identity and vulnerability. Maybe instead I should just write myself a letter.

  2. I really loved and enjoyed reading this article Kendall. Thank you for sharing these powerful, humorous, truthful words of beauty. They are definitely and vastly needed at the moment, and I love these moments of communion that allow us to feel connected to one another and remember our worth, beauty, and talents. You’re amazing, sister!

  3. It’s never easy to look at yourself– TRULY look at yourself– and figure out all of your worth. 🙂 It’s a good idea, though– the letter. I think I’ll try it.

  4. Pingback: Friday 5 Ways to Love On Others (& Yourself!) - Some Blissful Thinking

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