Let’s talk about something awkward.

I just spent an hour on the phone talking to one of the most amazing people I know.

Deeply encouraging. Loyal. Beautiful. Like. Turn your head beautiful. And creative as all get out.

Towards the end of the conversation, she brought up a business venture that she was interested in. I encouraged her, just saying “Offer a time to come meet with them. And then talk yourself up.”

Her response really hit me.

 

“Talking yourself up and knowing your worth as a woman is probably the hardest thing. Like, what do I say about myself that is so great, you know?”

 

I wanted to argue. I mean, COME ON. You’re amazing. Give me the resume and I’ll write it myself- just chalk full of all the reasons you would rock this job.

But if I’m honest, it’s absolutely true. It’s hard to see your own value sometimes [lots and lots of times].

You’re so stuck in your own life, your own imperfect skin, surrounded by your own baggage that you truly forget what you have to offer the world. And your best friend can see it. Your family can see it. Hell, you know your dog sees it. But you can’t.

I remember a friend had me do an exercise once that radically changed how I viewed Kendall.

She had me write a letter to myself as if I were writing it to my best friend. 

kensfolk journal

 

If your best friend came to you with the same concerns of self-worth that you do, what would you tell her? 

See, there are two types of people in this world.

People who write letters. And people who don’t.
And I am so far to the left of those two types of people that I would gladly have everyone throw their iPhones in a big bonfire and dance around it. And then I would go home and write a letter about it.

I pour my feelings out in postage, scribbles, and notes. I keep a physical planner. I was totally up for this challenge.

But then pen got to paper and I was blank. Wow. I would be 3 pages deep if this were my best friend. But about me? I ain’t got nothin’.

Eventually I wrote. Telling me that yes. Yes, I had something big to offer the world. And why yes, I am wasting time by throwing myself a big surprise pity party. Because guess what? It’s time to get to crackin’ with these talents I was given.
DO YOU KNOW AWKWARD IT IS TO TALK GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF?

I mean, even writing about this makes me all damp in the pits.

But writing a letter to myself with the kindness of a best friend really helped me realize that all those self-worth issues were just in my head.

And you. Yes, you. Reading this. I may know you. I might not. But you are so fantastic. And I know we ALL think we’re not at times. And I know I’m not just being all “feely girl” over here.  I struggle. You struggle. We’re all here.

So please, write yourself a letter as your best friend.

It isn’t conceited. It’s acceptance, kindness, and respect for yourself. It also isn’t perfection. I hate to break it to the two of us, but we aren’t flawless.

But write it. As your biggest fan. And I hope it helps you see yourself the way you are, you amazing human, you.

XO, K.

 

 

 

** I stole this image off of Pintrest.

 

 

 

creative cocktail hour.

There have been several events over the past year that have really changed my heart on the matter of community. I have always been social, but since moving to Houston, I have recognized the true importance of humans coming together. To understand each other. And support each other. To let someone else know you’re just as weird as they are.

And at the same time I began recognizing the importance of this was about the time that I realized that everyone is terrified of community. You get older and this world becomes a place that’s not safe for your story to be told. So we hide behind our jobs and our computer screens because it’s safer than saying “this is me”.

I am strange bird. But I remember going to Circles Conference last September and feeling truly understood in those weird spaces of my brain that make me want to create things. We were all made of the same stuff and we were all strange birds together.

Since then, I have set out to intentionally connect with strangers that I think might be a little like me. I am floored by the amazing people I’ve been able to meet through social media. Like Maggie from Type and Title, a branding wizard, who I met up with in California (more on this creative fireball next week). Aric Queen, a writer for National Geographic (who has an inspiringly raw book out called Shanghai Exile Diaries that you should NEED to read). He helped me with my travels through Europe in a way that was so completely touching. Sam Melton who shoots film for West Elm and really encouraged me in quest for connecting people. Rebecca Rebouche, a woman after my own heart- a designer for Anthropologie and one HELL of an artist. Seriously, check out her stuff.

To call these people friends now is an honor. And makes the world feel like a lot cooler of a place.

Anyone who has lived in Houston knows that it’s not a place where creatives jump out at you. It’s a big ole’ industrial melting pot where artists are a little more underground. So I set out to connect these individuals. I called up a friend in Houston and told her I wanted to host a meet up for all the various photographers, designers, painters, sculptors, writers, and filter obsessed people in the area.

So with the help of a new friend, Edi (find him on @htx_), I rounded up a bunch of people and asked them to email me if they’d like to all grab some drinks and share stories.

Here’s where I am going to be honest. I was pretty scared it was going to be a huge flop and I was going to be the idiot with the idea of herding strangers on instagram. And then 30 freaking awesome people came.

Well shit- now they’re actually here. And I’m trying to pretend I’m not a nervous wreck. And then the coolest thing happened. People started thanking me for coming- saying that it was such a big deal for them to come to something like this. “WAIT- YOU’RE NERVOUS TOO?!” And then in that moment I was overcome with the “okayness” of it all. Why are we so scared to be with other people- to just show up? Here I am surrounded by some of the most beautiful minds and getting blessed on by their inspiration and unique stories. People are just people. And when we decide to “show up”, our days are so much richer for it.

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So thank you to every single one of you who went out of your way to come out and spend the night photographing, wearing your hats, having some cocktails, and being brave enough to show up. Yay to a new Houston creative community.

XO, K.